The Yule Ball
by PhoenixFeather7
Summary: A silly litte parody of Severus/Hermione fics...


A/N:

This story is really stupid, but I wanted to have a go at writing something funny.

It's a parody of Hermione/Severus fics and not meant to insult anyone, I love all of the different fics out there…

When I think about it I am also poking a bit of fun at my own fic "Change of Mind", hmmmm, well, nevermind… :)

The Yule Ball 

Dumbledore had decided to throw a yule-ball this Christmas, which happened to be Harry, Ron and Hermione's last at Hogwarts, conveniently forgetting the fact that Hogwarts never had Yule-balls except for when there was a tri-wizard tournament.

However he had a good reason, after an accident with her time-turner, Hermione Granger had gone back in time, to time of the Marauders. Nobody had questioned the fact that her time-turner could only take her back an hour, or two, or three, or four, or something like that, in time.

She had been there for two whole hours, during which many wondrous things had happened.

She made friends with all of the marauders, of course, especially Sirius because he was very nice, sweet, pleasant, polite, friendly, funny, lovable, faithful, adorable and downright gorgeous.

He was also gay, and although he hadn't come out of the closet yet, the talked a lot about guys and feelings and other stuff that people assume gay-people talk about.

So Hermione and Sirius had a great time, although sometimes she found it a little annoying to be shouting every time she talked to him, but it couldn't be helped, the door and walls of the closet was very thick and that was the only way they were going to be able hear each other.

She also had a big fight with Lucious Malfoy about sugar peas.

Dumbledore was very surprised when she turned up and said she was from the future, not because of the fact of the time travelling but because Sibyll Trelawley had foreseen it.

That was the first time she had made an accurate prediction in the 25 years she had been working at Hogwarts, however Dumbledore and the previous headmaster had kept her there because they couldn't be bothered to walk all the way to the divination tower to fire her.

While Dumbledore was trying to figure out a way to send our heroine back to the future that didn't involve having to hijack a train, Hermione went for a walk in the grounds.

There she saw Severus Snape and he looked just like the slimy git she knew from the future but a little younger. When she got closer to him she saw that his hair really wasn't greasy though, it was smooth and shiny!

This made her instantly fall in love with him, however Sirius Black had now come out of his closet and when he saw the way Hermione looked at Severus he was so angry he challenged Snape to a duel.

Sirius told Snape to met him in a secret room under the whomping willow a little later.

Snape agreed, and with a muttered "I'm going to cut his heart out, with a spoon" he stalked off with his billowing robes billowing around him.

Not before he had professed his love for Hermione though, he told her that she was all he'd ever wanted, he'd known that from the first minute he saw her, which was about three minutes earlier, because she was clutching a potions book to her chest. She then realised she was still holding her books like she had since before the time turner accident, which had happened when she fell off the stairs on her way down to the potions-class.

Hermione, who, for some reason unknown to man, had stopped using her brain didn't understand why Sirius wanted them to meet under the whomping willow and she couldn't be bothered about trying to figure it out either.

Instead she went to find Severus, she found him in the library reading 'moste potent potions'.

When Hermione walked up to him he looked up at her.

"Give me an occupation or I shall run mad!" He exclaimed.

"Ok, how about making some potions?"

"What a great idea!"

They left the library and went off to Severus' room, he had his own room for some reason nobody knew.

There they made all kinds of different potions, about twenty of them all together.

Severus sniffed the air.

"The air is full of spices!"

"Yes it really is Sevvi dear!"

At that precise moment Dumbledore knocked on the door.

"I thought I might find you here, Hermione." He smiled his usual all-knowing smileä.

Then he said a few word and Hermione went back to the future. Before he sent her off however he had put a memory charm on her so she didn't have a clue as to why she was an hour late when she finally got to the potions classroom, where Professor Snape sneered, leered, glared, scowled, scorned and yelled at her for being late…

Dumbledore had also put a memory charm on Severus just after he sent Hermione back to her time, so he was as clueless as she was. The only one who knew what had passed was the headmaster himself, his fondness for memory charms really explained his all-knowingness.

So, anyway, Dumbledore decided to throw a Christmas ball, with the hope of making Hermione and Severus fall in love all over again, all though why that would be good, not even he himself knew. His all-knowingness didn't include himself because it was difficult to obliviate yourself and remember it…

Everyone was very happy when Dumbledore told them about the party.

Ron took the first chance he got asking Hermione to the ball, however she already had a date for the dance, a really hot guy in Ravenclaw, because Hermione was by now the hottest girl in Hogwarts, no one really knew how that could be though, she did still spend most her time in the library and hardly any on her own appearance. Hermione didn't know either, her hair had tamed up and was now laying in beautiful curls around her face, her skin was smooth and her body very fit, even though she never exercised.

When she turned him down, Ron threw a tantrum and didn't talk to her again, ever.

Harry went with Ginny because, well, why not?

When the day for the ball arrived Hermione spent 10 hours getting ready, quite a long time for just putting on a dress and some lip-gloss, but she wanted to be really careful she didn't put too much lip-gloss on.

When she entered the great hall with her Ravenclaw date, who doesn't have a name because he does not have a talking part, the first person she saw was Severus Snape towering about the room.

He looked gorgeous, he had even washed his hair because Dumbledore told him he had to, and he obeys his every command (after questioning them for 10 minutes).

After they'd eaten the tables cleared away and the dancing started. After Hermione had danced a few dances with her date she went to sit down, just then Snape came up to her, Dumbledore had insisted that he'd dance with the head girl, who was, luckily for this story, Hermione.

He asked her to dance and she agreed, what else can you do, when a man with L'Oreal hair asks you to dance?

As soon as they touched they both knew, and they kissed each other.

The kiss, however, was suddenly interrupted when they got the entire contents of the punch bowl poured over their heads by Ron Weasley.

The weren't discouraged by that though and after a few days they were married and lived happily ever after.

- - THE END - -


End file.
